Full disclosure – this article started as a joke between myself and Basestar author Knockout. I wanted to see what would happen if I keyworded heavily towards exploiting perverts and dumb people – but I couldn’t betray those few who are my true audience, hence the following:
Did anyone keep up with Kotaku.com last week? I understand the Tokyo Game Show is full of adorable japanese girls in skimpy outfits, but they really milked it. It’s not really anything new for Kotaku, but after tipping them off to my series on Dead Space I watched what kind of content they considered more worthy. It put things in perspective.
As I do more and more of this blogging thing, watching my hits per day fizzle out, I’m beginning to realize all people want are heaving tits. Most people find my site by searching for topics such as tentacle rape, hentai and Ninja Gaiden 2’s Sonia naked.
Kotaku seems to have caught onto this long ago, since you can’t go to a single page without running into a story about breasts or vaginas. I don’t want to pander to pervs who jerk off to upskirt shots of Chun-Li, but it seems to work.
1) Microsoft was big at this year’s TGS, with Kotaku posting not one, not two, but three articles on their booth “companions.” Kotaku’s own Luke Plunkett reports, “Like we said, this year’s Microsoft TGS booth is special. Not for the games, necessarily (OK, for the games), but for the fact that the company’s army of booth companions have new outfits!” He’s also sure to note the new outfit’s “hint of side-boob.”
2) Yes, booth companions. They will keep you company during those lonely sessions at the demo kiosks. This is more embarrassing for TGS as a show than it is for Kotaku. Here’s Kotaku’s in-depth coverage:
D3 – “D3Publisher, the folks behind the delightful Simple Series and the not so delightful Dark Sector, have Tokyo Game Show booth companions. Six of them by our count. That’s a very conservative number for a company that releases not so conservative games.” – Brian Ashcraft
SNK-Playmore – “SNK Playmore knows how to draw a crowd at Tokyo Game Show — just line up five girls in Mai Shiranui cosplay get ups and let the booth babe hungry masses snap dozens and dozens of photos of their perfectly smooth knees.” – Michael McWhertor
3) I can’t really fault them for this one, the trailer for Bayonetta was completely absurd.
4) Kotaku shines a light on the important features of Yakuza 3. Here is where Kotaku magic happens, as they grab more page impressions by teasing “Another pic of Ayana after the jump.” I’ll save you some time:
BREAKING NEWS, Rock Band 2 has a character creator:
Sarah Palin in Rock Band 2